From Foggy to Fierce: Reclaiming Self-Esteem During Menopause
Most of us don’t like walking into a situation without some background information—and menopause is no exception. Yet, many women are doing just that. A 2022 study published by the National Library of Medicine found that 90% of the 3,150 women surveyed (all over age 40) had received no education about menopause in school. As a result, 30% said they were dreading menopause, and only 39% felt accepting of it. Most turned to friends or websites for information and support.
By the way—the above mentioned study is from 2022—not 1982. The lack of education and care is staggering. It’s no wonder so many women feel lowered confidence and self-esteem, are frustrated, and disconnected during this phase of life. They’re experiencing unfamiliar symptoms without a solid understanding of why.
So, why are we feeling so low about ourselves during this time?
Hormonal changes are part of it—causing mood swings, sleep issues, hot flashes, weight gain, brain fog, anxiety, and depression. But it's not just physical. This phase often overlaps with major life transitions: kids graduating and leaving home, career changes, or returning to work after years of caregiving. On top of that, there’s the emotional impact of moving beyond your reproductive years—and the outdated social narratives that suggest menopause is something to be ashamed of or that it makes you "less" of a woman.
The same study found that many women’s experiences were shaped by a lack of understanding from those around them. Participants pointed to societal stigma and sexist norms that still influence how menopause is perceived and discussed.
With so much shifting at once, it’s no wonder we start second-guessing ourselves and mourning the version of us we used to know. But this doesn’t have to be a season of loss. It can be a season of transformation.
Here are five ways to reframe the journey:
Lean on your people. Find a support system in your friends. Talk openly, share experiences, and uplift each other.
Rediscover yourself. Use this time to explore new hobbies or interests. What have you always wanted to try but never had the time for?
Give yourself grace. Bad days happen. Allow space for them without judgment.
Shake things up. Take a class, book that trip, or dive into a project you’ve been dreaming about.
Talk to your doctor. If the emotional or physical symptoms feel overwhelming, know that you don’t have to tough it out alone. Treatment options like therapy, medication, or hormone replacement therapy (HRT) can help you feel more like yourself again.
Most importantly: You are not alone. Every menopause journey looks different, so resist the urge to compare. You’re doing better than you think—and we’re in this together.
Kelly Rigo is the creative force behind Menopause Evolution.